Deidara's Kittens
by Babs McGoogle
Summary: Deidara's Kitty sequel::Deidara and Sasori are together at last and happy. At least, until they find out something that will change everything. SasoDei, ItaHida, yaoi, mpreg, rated because of Hidan and other reasons.
1. I Hate This

Thanks to black55widow for the title! I have decided, because of the high amount of people that said I should, that this is going to have mpreg! Sorry to everyone that wanted adoption…maybe I'll sneak adoption in here somewhere. I now have a podcast, I'll probably make it weekly, because I can only make around six or five every month…it hasn't started yet, but I tested it, and it works wonderfully! It'll have news about my fanfics and just plain random stuff. Wow, this was a long beforehand note! Enjoy!

* * *

It had been a while (but less than years) since the animal-craziness had ended, and all was peaceful. Except, of course, until Deidara freaked. Deidara ran out of the bathroom and into Sasori's room. Deidara was in a major panic and Sasori was clueless,

"What's wrong, Dei?"

"Sasori-chaaaaaaan!"

"What?"

"Sasori-chan, I-I-I-I-I-I…"

"What?!"

"I'm _pregnant_,un!!"

Then Sasori panicked, "What?! That makes no sense at all! I know for sure you're a guy, so…how the hell can you be pregnant?!"

"I don't know, un!!"

"It's probably that stupid ferret's fault!"

Deidara ran out of the room, "I'm gonna' go talk to Itachi, un!" Sasori stayed still shocked in his room. Well, at least he'll have a kid now.

Deidara walked into the so-called 'living room', thinking that Itachi would probably be there, but instead he found Hidan sitting down on the couch, looking as emotionally unstable than ever before.

Hidan saw Deidara out of the corner of his eye, "What the fuck do you want?"

"I'm looking for Itachi, would you know where he is?"

"He's probably in his room. Or trying to steal money from that fucking Kakuzu."

"Un, why would Itachi steal money from Kakuzu?"

"No reason." Hidan quickly defended suspiciously. "Why do you want to talk to Itachi?"

"Because I'm pregnant." Deidara realized what he had just told Hidan, the biggest mouth in the Akatsuki. "Dammit, un!"

"Well that's fuckin' great for you." Hidan grumpily said.

Deidara decided to leave Hidan alone, so he walked to Itachi's room. And sure enough, he was there.

"Deidara-san? Did you and Sasori get into a fight again?"

"No, un. But we might end up fighting."

Itachi let Deidara into his room and they both sat on the floor, "What's the problem?"

"I just figured out I'm pregnant."

Itachi looked shocked, "Really, you too?"

"You're pregnant Itachi?!"

"No…Hidan is. We have been trying to hide it ever since we've known. Hidan doesn't exactly want to have kids. So, does Sasori not like kids? Is that why you're worried about this?"

"No, he probably wants one more than I do, un. I'm just confused about what I should do."

"This time around, Deidara, I think you should go talk to Hidan. He's been pregnant for two weeks, so he'll always know what's coming for you."

"Okay, Itachi, un."

Deidara walked back into the 'living room', and as he expected, Hidan was still there.

"You didn't fuckin' find him?"

"No I found him…and he told me you're pregnant, too."

"Yeah, and I it fucking outta me! I was gonna' get rid of it, but then Itachi had to go and say stuff like 'but babies are so cute!'. And I don't wanna' make Itachi fuckin' angry or anything, so I have decided to go through this hell."

Deidara looked down, "So it's hell, un?"

"Yeah, I fuckin' barf a lot, I have emotional stress every fuckin' second, and Itachi's making me read books about being pregnant."

"Can I borrow some of the books, un?"

"You wanna' actually read fuckin' books? Take all of 'em, I'm never gonna' read them."

"Do you know how it's even possible that we're pregnant, un?"

"No, but if we go ask that fucking ferret, he'll probably tell us something."

And so, Itachi and Deidara found the ferret in Pein's office.

"How the fuck are we pregnant?!" The ever so pissed off Hidan demanded an answer.

Sebastian, a.k.a. the 'evil' mad scientist ferret, answered as calm as ever, "I forgot to tell you, but when you were turned into animals, it also gave you the ability to become pregnant. Any one of the four of you could've become pregnant, so by chance it was you two that are now pregnant."

Even though everything still made very little sense, at least Hidan and Deidara had a slight explanation now. Deidara made Hidan walk out of their leader's office before Hidan could rip Sebastian to shreds. This is definitely going to be strange.

* * *

Babs McGoogle: "Hey, everyone! Welcome to Babs Lucky Corner! Since Hidan is pregnant now, we have a new co-host! Say hi-hi to…Zetsu-chan!!"

Zetsu: "Hello, everyone. Arigato…"

Babs McGoogle: "No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong, Zetsu-chan! You're supposed to be all grumpy, just like Hidan was!"

Zetsu: "I'm sorry for disappointing you…"

Babs McGoogle: "Well, anyways, isn't it so awesome-riffic? Deidara's Kitty has been continued!!"

Zetsu: "I kind of feel sorry for Hidan, though. He doesn't want to be pregnant, but he still has to be…"

Babs McGoogle: "That's what he gets for what he did in this after note…oh, look! It's already time to go! Please review and visit my site! And be sure to listen to my new podcast, it's available to listen to and to even download for your mp3 player! See ya' next time!"

Zetsu: "Bye-nii…"


	2. I Hate Rumors

I need to go to the library…they finally have the last volume of the Fruits Basket manga! Yay! I don't know what this chapter is going to be about, I just felt like I should make another chapter…

* * *

Deidara was sitting on the floor of his room, staring at the closed book in front of him. He was kind of scared to read a book about what was going to happen to him. The silence of the room was broken when Hidan burst through the door, tripped, and fell flat on the floor.

"Hidan, what the hell are you doing, un?"

Hidan got up, that's when Deidara saw he was crying.

"Holy shit, it's the apocalypse, un!!"

"What the fuck? How, when, why?! Where?!"

"You're crying! Why?!"

"Waugh!"

"Waugh!"

They both started to spaz. Sasori and Itachi were watching from a short distance.

Sasori whispered, "I don't think we should bother either of them."

Itachi agreed, "Yeah."

Later that day, Sasori was sitting in the 'Akatsuki living room' reading. He decided to read the book, titled 'What to Expect When You're Expecting', since Deidara wasn't going to start anytime soon.

The clueless Kisame walked by and saw what he was reading, "Um, Sasori, why are you reading _that_?!"

Sasori looked up, there was no way to hide what had happened for long, anyway: "Deidara's pregnant, and he wouldn't read this. _And_ I can't trust Hidan, who is also pregnant, to tell Deidara everything truthfully."

Kisame froze, "Hidan…Deidara…pregnant…wha? Wha…?" Kisame walked off, repeating that over and over again.

Kakuzu was staring at piles of money when he heard and saw Kisame.

"What's wrong with you, Kisame?"

"Preg…nant? That doesn't make any scientific sense at all…"

"You're preggers?"

"No…Deidara is…and so is Hidan"

Kakuzu froze, "Okay, gather all the others except for Itachi, Hidan, Sasori and Deidara for an urgent meeting."

A while later, the 'urgent meeting' had started recently.

Zetsu was scared for his life, "There's going to be a bunch of tiny swearing Hidans…everywhere…"

Kakuzu agreed that it sucks, "If we can't go on missions, that means no money…"

Kisame was still confused, "But how is that…even close to being possible?!"

Tobi laughed, "I hope sempai has a girl!"

Konan blurted out, "I'm the one who should be pregnant!"

That silenced everyone. Pein eventually replied, "You…want to?" Again, silence.

Sasori was still reading. He had started talking to himself: "…I don't _need_ to see what the baby's going to look like then…that's disgusting, I'm glad I'm not the one pregnant."

Meanwhile, Deidara was looking everywhere in his room for the book that Sasori was reading (Sasori didn't tell him he took it).

"Where is it, un? I just saw it right there…"

Tobi burst through the door, "Sempai, is it true? Is it true?!"

"Is _what_ true, Tobi?"

"Are you and Hidan really pregnant."

"…Where did you hear that?"

"Kakuzu said that Sasori told Kisame who told Kakuzu who told everyone else! …Oh, Tobi's brain hurts now…"

Deidara was then ticked off (as I would say: to the extreme!!), "Sasori!!"

* * *

Babs McGoogle: "Hi, everyone! It's another Babs Lucky Corner! Yay! Since Zetsu was boring, we sent him away on a little 'trip'" (grins evilly) "Well, anyways, now we have a visitor, say hi-hi to…Konan-chan! Yay!"

Konan: "…Where am I?!"

Babs McGoogle: "Oh, I forgot to add, since Konan-chan wouldn't come, we knocked her out with a metal bat and dragged her here! Yay!"

Konan: "…"

Babs McGoogle: "So, Konan, what was with what you said this chapter?!"

Konan: "You're the one that wrote it…"

Babs McGoogle: "You're not fun…that's what everyone says…I'm tired…I wanna' read Fruits Basket…"

Konan: "Why are you complaining so much?"

Babs McGoogle: "Screw yo- Oh! It's time to go! See ya' next time!"

Konan: "…What?"

Babs McGoogle: "You're supposed to say Bye-nii!" (takes out metal bat) "Bye-niiiiiiiiiiiii!!"

(excuse us, we are having techinical difficulties)


	3. I Hate Reading

I forgot to mention last time: I don't own any of the books I refer to. That's the only time I'm going to say that.

* * *

Sasori was still reading the book when Deidara stormed into the room.

"Oh, Deidara, I forgot to ask you: is it okay if I borrow this book?"

Deidara erupted, "…Is it okay? Is it okay?! Are you kidding me? Nothing's okay!!"

"Sorry I took your book without asking." Sasori said calmly.

Deidara was still pissed off, "I don't care about the book! I care about everyone knowing about me being pregnant!!"

Meanwhile, away from that scene, Hidan walked out of his room to be stopped by Kakuzu.

"…So, Hidan…"

"What the fuck do you want?"

"You're…pregnant?"

Hidan tried to remain calm, "Who the fuck told you?"

"Kisame said Sasori told 'em."

"…Do you think Deidara knows?"

At that moment, they heard something thud to the floor and someone yelling.

"I think that's a yes."

Kakuzu and Hidan walked in the living room to see the murderous-looking Deidara on top of Sasori.

Sasori could barely speak, "Help…me…"

Kakuzu ignored he heard that, "Hidan, why aren't you as angry as Deidara?"

"Everyone was going to have to find out sometime, anyway."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Hidan?"

Finally, Deidara had come to his senses, "Oh…that actually makes sense." Deidara got up and walked away, "You can keep the book."

Deidara walked back into his room and saw a book on the floor. Deidara opened it and started reading a section called 'The Gifts of Parenthood':

'_Your Child's Gifts to You_

_-Unqualified Love_' (Deidara had to look up unqualified in the dictionary)

'_-Absolute trust_

_-The thrill of discovery_

_-The heights of emotion_'

Deidara read more about all that and closed the book.

"I need to show this to Hidan."

Deidara walked into the kitchen, with the book, and found Hidan staring into the fridge.

"What are you doing, un?"

"There's no pickles."

Deidara smiled, "Yes there is, just go ask Itachi…"

"Shut the fuck up, you have the dirtiest mind ever."

"Well, anyway, you have to read this." Deidara held out the book and Hidan blankly stared at it.

"What the fuck is it?"

"A book about what will happen to us, un! Can't you tell, the title makes it obvious!"

After a pause, Hidan said "…I can't read."

"…What?!"

"You heard me. I can't fuckin' read!"

"Well, take it anyway, un. Itachi can read it to you," Deidara smiled, "and then you can ask him for some…"

Hidan cut him off, "Shut the fuck up and just give me the book already." Deidara handed Hidan the book. Deidara walked away as Hidan continued to stare into the fridge.

* * *

Babs McGoogle: "Hi, everyone! It's Babs Lucky Corner! Sorry, but I think the chapters in this story are going to be shorter than usual…but that means I'll update faster! And by the way, since Konan is in the hospital, say hi-hi to…Kakuzu! Yay!"

Kakuzu: "I'm fine just as long as you don't do what you did to Konan to me. Or take my money. I'm not okay with that, either."

Babs McGoogle: "Well, next time I'm going to put in the first visit at the doctor's! Who do you think the doctor will be, Kakuzu-chan?"

Kakuzu: "Knowing you, I would say something crazy like Tobi being the nurse or something like that."

Babs McGoogle: "Kakuzu-chan…you're not supposed to read off of the cards…you just said who really…"

Kakuzu: "Oh…"

Babs McGoogle: "Look! It's already time to go! See ya' next time!"

Kakuzu: "There's no way that I'm saying bye-nii."


	4. I Hate Doctors

I haven't been able to write in a while because my mom dragged me out to buy school stuff…school starts Tuesday! Noooooo!!

* * *

Itachi ran his fingers through Hidan's hair; who was sleeping next to him.

"Hidan-chan, wake up. We're going to be late."

Hidan opened his eyes, "Huh? Late for what?"

"You forgot? We need to go to the doctor's today."

Meanwhile (I think I might be overusing that word), Deidara walked into the living room. He looked at Sasori, who was reading the same book as the past chapters.

"Sasori, we're already running late, leader's probably pissed, un. Are you ready to go?"

Sasori briefly looked up from the book, "Oh, sorry Dei, can you go without me this time?"

Deidara's mind froze in shock. He was actually completely ticked off at his danna, he hadn't been acting the same as he did before Deidara found out he was pregnant. But he decided not to almost kill him again, so he looked down and said, "Oh, okay, un…"

Itachi and Hidan walked in the room, and Hidan said, "Come on, Deidara. We're already fucking late as hell!" Deidara nodded and the three of them walked out the door to the outside of the hideout.

When they were outside they were met by the pissed off Pein and Konan.

"What the hell were you doing in there? Do you have any idea what time it is?!" Okay, explanation: Pein had to drive them to the hospital (Pein knows a doctor that works there) because he's the only one in Akatsuki with a driver's license (even though they're S-ranked criminals, they can't drive illegally…?), and Konan insists on following Pein everywhere for some unknown reason.

They were driving to the hospital (by the way, Pein put a soundproof glass wall separating the passenger's and driver's for obvious reasons), Itachi finally asked, "Deidara-san, why didn't Sasori come?"

After a short pause, Deidara answered: "I…don't know, un." Deidara was forcing himself not to tear up, and Itachi could see that.

Hidan, on the other hand, was as oblivious as ever, "When are we fucking going to be there?!" There was no answer, of course there wasn't. Remember the soundproof glass wall?

They finally were dropped off at the hospital. It was a bit smaller than what people usually would think of a hospital, but the rest was the same. The three of them (Pein and Konan left) were guided to a normal-looking hospital room.

The doctor walked in. He had snow-white hair at mid-length and had glasses on.

"Hello, I am your doctor, you can all me Sebastian." The three of them thought the same thing: '_Sebastian? The crazy ferret?! No, it has to be a coincidence…right?!_''

Sebastian continued, "Once again, sorry about all of this, since it's my fault and all…" He saw the shock on the other's faces and explained, "Oh, sorry, yes, I am the ferret Sebastian. I actually work here, and when I'm off work, I tend to travel around as a ferret…now, where's my nurse?"

Tobi burst through the door. He was wearing a nurse's outfit; which means it contains a skirt.

"The nurse is in! Because Tobi is a good nurse!"

Other than the doctor being a mad scientist ferret and the nurse being Tobi, the visit went pretty normally. Well, except for this:

Sebastian checked the ultrasound once again, "Hidan, you're baby is perfectly fine. But for you…Deidara…if I'm seeing correctly, you're going to have twins." Deidara's mind froze once again. Not because he was having twins, his mind froze because Sasori wasn't there to hear the news of it.

Sebastian and Tobi waved goodbye to Hidan, Deidara, and Itachi, who were walking to Pein's car.

"See you next month!"

* * *

Babs McGoogle: "Hi, everyone! This chapter was a little longer than others! Yay! And…I have a letter. It says: 'To Babs: Since there are no more available Akatsuki members left to be on the corner, you are now the only host.' …Well, what am I supposed to do?! Talk to myself?! Okay, I'll do that. So, what did I think of the chapter that _I wrote_?!"

Naota: "Well, I think the whole doctor scene is a little too similar to that one scene in FLCL when Haruko locked the doctor and the nurse in the closet and…"

Babs McGoogle: "Naota, what are you doing here?! You're from FLCL, not Naruto!"

Naota: "…Where am I?"

Haruko: (bursts in riding her vespa and wielding her guitar) "Bye-nii!!" (slams Naota in the head with guitar)

Babs McGoogle: "…"


	5. I Hate Jealousy

I have decided the kid's names! Komatsu, Rin, Nana, and Oseki! Those are in no particular order, by the way. And if you counted, there are four names, but only three kids (so far!)! I won't tell who the other one is until it's announced in the story. Yes, I know I am evil.

* * *

They were now in their fifth month, and it seemed like nothing had changed much. Itachi and Hidan were running around like crazy buying stuff (much to Kakuzu's displeasure), Sasori was still trying to finish the book, and Deidara still hadn't told Sasori about the twins.

Itachi and Hidan had just gone out to buy who knows what. Kisame sighed as he watched the two stroll away together.

Kakuzu appeared out of nowhere, "What's been bothering you lately, Kisame?"

Kisame countered nervously, "N-nothing! I'm not acting strange, Kakuzu! I think you're just finally going senile!"

"That was the worst defense I've heard in my life. And I've heard a lot of defenses, I used to be a lawyer, you know."

"Uh, Kakuzu, you were never a lawyer. You just want to be one because they make a lot of money."

"Shut up, just tell me the truth. What's been bothering you?"

Kisame sighed once again, "I really don't know how to say this…"

"Don't tell me you're pregnant too. I don't even wanna' know who the hell is doing you," Kakuzu interrupted.

Kisame continued, "No, it's not that, it's…"

Kakuzu interrupted again, "Is it about Itachi?"

Kisame struggled to say words, "Yeah…it's just…I….I…Love…"

"You're jealous?"

"I wouldn't say jealous. I always dreamed of me and Itachi being together, but now he's with Hidan…I tried to stop liking him, but I still do…" Kisame was obviously trying not to cry; he's known for being tough.

"That's definitely jealousy. But don't worry, I feel the same way."

Kisame jumped back in surprise, "You love Itachi?!"

"No, I love…" Kakuzu hesitated, but said it anyway, "Hidan."

Kisame smiled mischievously after thinking for a second, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Kakuzu smiled, "I had no idea you had a completely evil side, Kisame. I'm surprised."

"So, what do you say?"

"Yeah, let's do this. Mission: Breakup starts now."

* * *

Babs McGoogle: "Hi, welcome to Babs Lucky Corner! Sorry this chapter's short, I'll post the next one quickly! And Konan is back from the hospital! Hi-hi, Konan-chan!"

Konan: "I'll try not to mess up this time (to avoid another concussion)."

Babs McGoogle: "This chapter was to explain what's going on with the other characters! It's a major turn in the plot, at least I think!"

Konan: "What's the next chapter going to be about?"

Babs McGoogle: "I won't answer that. I could but I won't. Can't you wait, it's coming soon anyway."

Konan: "Yeah, but didn't you used to put previews for next time at the end of each chapter in the first part of the story?"

Babs McGoogle: "Stop asking questions."

Konan: "But-"

Babs McGoogle: (starts to pull out metal bat)

Konan: "…sorry."

Babs McGoogle: "Oh, look! It's already time to go! Well, see ya' next time everyone! Please review! Thanks for reading!"

Konan: "B-Bye-nii!"


	6. I Hate Awkward Conversations

These are my excuses for updating slow(er): my internet goes on and off randomly, I'm being attacked by homework, and I sometimes have a little bit of a writer's block. Well, here's a new chapter.

* * *

It was morning, almost the sixth month, and Sasori had just woken up to the sound of his cell phone ringing. And out of common sense, he answered.

Not long after, Sasori closed his cell phone and walked to Deidara's room next door. He was about to wake him up, but when he saw Deidara sleeping, he couldn't bring himself to. So instead he walked away.

It was a little after noon when Deidara woke up. He walked into the so-called living room to see Sasori still reading the book (it's a really long book, if you didn't guess yet). Their relationship had gotten better recently.

"Good morning, Sasori-chan."

Sasori looked up, "Oh, Dei, you're awake. My gramma called earlier to check on how we were going, and I ended up telling her about the pregnancy. So she said she's coming over today, no matter what." Deidara sighed; he knew this was going to be a long day.

Eventually, Chiyo (I forgot her name last time. I did think it was Chiyo; but I thought that I might be confusing Azumanga Daioh names with Naruto names) arrived at the hideout.

A conversation (which was awkward for only two people) had already started between the three.

Chiyo was asking what seemed like billions of questions, "So, what are their names going to be?"

Deidara answered: "Well, I haven't thought of it yet, un. There's one boy and one girl, so…" Deidara looked at Sasori to continue the answer.

Sasori got the message, "I haven't thought of names, either."

Chiyo came up with yet another question, "So, are you two getting married?"

Both Sasori and Deidara replied with the same word: "What?!"

"You should get married if you're expecting."

No word from Sasori or Deidara, they both were frozen in the same expression.

Chiyo decided for them, "Okay, you're getting married! If you don't want to, I'll make you two get married! Okay?"

Sasori and Deidara nodded slowly, still with the same expression on their face.

Hidan was walking by and yelled from the other room, "Yeah, this isn't Juno, you know!"

Deidara yelled back, "Go away, Hidan!"

Chiyo still had to ask more questions, "Who was that?"

"That was Hidan, he…"

Sasori interrupted Deidara, "_She's_ pregnant, too." Chiyo looked at Sasori suspiciously. Sasori continued, "I had nothing to do with it."

The day had gone by quickly; time passes fast when you're answering awkward questions. Chiyo had left and all was peaceful again. The last thing Chiyo said before leaving was "I'll call you with the marriage plans soon!" Sasori hoped that she would forget she ever said that.

Meanwhile, Kisame walked to the 'Akatsuki Mail Box'. It's just a cardboard box in the front of the hideout (Kakuzu was in charge of getting a mail box). Kisame looked around to check if nobody was around. Nobody was seen, so he quietly put the letter in the box, remembering his and Kakuzu's plan. As he casually walked away, Kisame thought,

'_Sorry, Itachi…_'

* * *

Babs McGoogle: "Hi, welcome to Babs Lucky Corner! Today, Konan and I will be discussing the new spoilers from the new Naruto data book in Japan! Here's the reason Kisame said that Kakuzu's probably going senile: Kakuzu is 91 years old!"

Konan: "…"

Babs McGoogle: "Hidan comes from the village hidden amongst the hot springs!"

Konan: "That's ridiculous sounding."

Babs McGoogle: "Itachi likes sweets!"

Konan: "Why is any of this relevant?"

Babs McGoogle: "Never mind! Well, there's something new from now on! If you have any questions or want to see something happen in Babs Lucky Corner, put it in a review and it might be here! See ya'!"

Konan: "Bye-nii…"


	7. I Hate Mail

It is I, BabsMcGoogle! I have risen from the dead to feast on your yaoi! Actually, no, I did not die. I've just been as busy as possible for the past month. I'm lucky I'm able to write right now, today I had a young author's conference and a guitar lesson; and yesterday was the Halloween Dance at my school, I still feel drunk (on candy. CANDY!). So this chapter may sound like it was written by a retard. (the lines aren't working!)

--

It was early the next day, Hidan's day to check the mailbox. They received mail every week, and every week it was someone else's turn to check it. Hidan walked to the mailbox and saw only one letter. He picked it up and looked closely at it; it said '_To: Itachi_' on the back. Hidan didn't know how to read, but he knew Itachi's name started with something that looked like a long line with two other lines on it. He couldn't remember Itachi ever getting mail before, so out of curiosity, he opened it. He couldn't read the letter, but it didn't look long.

Hidan walked back inside and held out the letter to Deidara, "What does this say?"

Deidara looked up and took the letter, "Why do you want me to read a letter that's for Itachi-chan?"

"Just read it!" Hidan demanded.

Deidara sighed and read the letter out loud, "Dear Itachi, I've been thinking about you so much lately, I miss you. I was thinking that we could see each other again soon, since it's been so long. I really think that you should move in with me, since we're probably going to get married soon, right? From, with love, Nomura…then there's a heart drawn…un." Deidara and Hidan froze in a few seconds of shock, but then Hidan almost literally exploded,

"Where is that fucker Itachi?! I swear to Janshin that I will fuckin' sacrifice that fucker to Janshin! Gragh!" Hidan was so angry that he started yelling out random words, "Fudge! Cheese sticks! Popsicle stand! Happy happy joy joy!" Deidara glanced outside while trying to stop Hidan and saw to his complete horror that, guess who, Itachi was about to walk inside.

Deidara looked at Sasori, whom was sitting near them the whole time, and when Sasori looked up he saw Deidara look outside, he did too. Sasori stood up and nervously ran to the door.

Itachi was already at the entrance when Sasori stopped him, "Sasori, what's wrong? I need to get through the door."

Sasori whispered, "Itachi, even though you're a cheating bitch, I still would not enjoy seeing you being hung on the walls."

Itachi was puzzled, "Sasori, what are you talking about?" Itachi slid past Sasori, and when he did that, he slid right into the gaze the extremely-pissed Hidan.

"Hello, Hida-"

Itachi was interrupted by Hidan, who's anger had suddenly turned into a depressed emotional breakdown, "How could you do this, Itachi?! You got be pregnant, for fuckin' Janshin's sake!" Hidan started crying as he dragged himself into the corner, or as I call it, the 'Emo Corner'.

Itachi was even more confused now, "Hidan, what's wrong? What are you talking about?!"

Deidara gave Itachi the death glare, "Itachi, go away. In fact, why don't you just go live with your girlfriend, un?"

"I really don't know what any of you are saying."

"You're not fooling anyone, Itachi. We know about Nomura," Deidara gave Itachi the letter, "There's the proof, un."

Itachi reads the letter and still disagreed, "I don't know who sent this, or why anyone would even do this."

Sasori spoke up, "Just leave, Itachi." Itachi followed Sasori's orders and left to his room.

Meanwhile, Kakuzu and Kisame where watching unknown from a safe distance. Kakuzu smiled under his mask, "I told you it would work."

Kisame tried to smile, "Yeah, I guess it did."

(Yet another) Meanwhile, Zetsu slipped away so Kisame and Kakuzu were out of his sight. He asked himself,

"I'm the one who's going to have to fix this, huh? **Well, yeah, dumbass.**"

--

Babs McGoogle: "Hi, everyone, welcome to Babs Lucky Corner! And today with us we have, Pein!"

Pain: "You spelled my name wrong."

Babs McGoogle: "No I didn't! I'm not stupid, silly!"

Pain: "No, look, its spelled P-A-I-N."

Babs McGoogle: "No it's not!"

Pain: "Um, I think I know how to spell my own name."

Babs McGoogle: "You know what, _Pein_?"

Pain: "It's Pain."

Babs McGoogle: "Bye-nii!" (pulls out metal bat and hits Pain the in head)

(excuse us, but we think we need to get a new host that is not a violent psycho)


	8. I Hate Being Shy

I'm back. See profile for details. Yeahhh. I've decided to start working on these stories here again, since summer has bored me to near death (no joke, seriously). Since I haven't written in a while, my writing style may have changed. Well, hope you like this sudden update.

* * *

Zetsu was walking in the hallway, and happened to hear Hidan crying like the world was coming to an end the very second. It had been a week and two days since the whole letter incident, and Hidan was still quite broken about the whole thing. Itachi hadn't spoken to him yet; in fact, Itachi hadn't talked to anyone the past week and two days. Almost as if the experience rendered him to an empty shell.

Zetsu stopped in front of Hidan's door. He knew the truth, but being so shy, he didn't really know to tell Hidan or not. Zetsu didn't like jumping into other people's business; and this time he would be jumping head-first.

"Um…Hidan….?"

Hidan didn't open the door, his voice was cracked, "What, Zetsu? Go away."

After a pause, Zetsu spoke again, "There's something you really need to know."

"Just go away, Zetsu. I'm fucking busy."

There was no pause this time, "It's about the letter. No one else knows yet."

Hidan opened the door a bit, and peeked out, "What is it? Make it quick."

Zetsu prepared himself for one of Hidan's crazy reactions, and started to explain: "There is no Nomura. There never was. The whole letter was just a scam planned and carried out by Kakuzu and Kisame."

Hidan didn't seem to believe him completely. "Why would those two fuckers do that?"

Zetsu knew that telling Hidan that Kisame and Kakuzu were so love sick that they teamed up and sabotaged his and Itachi's relationship would mean telling the whole Akatsuki, which would result in being surely killed by Kakuzu and Kisame. So he decided to lie.

"I don't know. Why wouldn't they?"

Hidan paused, still looking slightly doubtful that Zetsu was telling the truth. The white Zetsu was talking right now; the good Zetsu that probably just didn't like seeing everyone being torn apart by the seams emotionally. The only true way of knowing the truth was to get the black Zetsu to talk.

"Are you telling the truth?"

Zetsu seemed startled. "Of course I am!"

"I'm not asking _you_."

Zetsu got was he was saying, and let his darker side take over. "**He's telling the truth, dumbass.** You didn't need to be so harsh!"

Hidan let go of the doorknob, so the cheap door slid all the way open. He truly believed him now, and his thoughts were stopped. He hugged Zetsu, though Zetsu was too awkward to put his arm around Hidan.

"Thank you sooo much, Zetsu! I swear I'll pay you back someday!" Hidan stopped the one-sided hug fest and dashed down the stairs. Deidara was sitting on the couch with Itachi, though the two were on the complete opposite sides. Deidara looked pissed off just to be barely near the guy.

Hidan hugged Itachi, which was startling to Deidara and Itachi.

"Itachi, I'm so sorry I was upset! I should've known the letter was fake all along; Zetsu told me everything!"

Itachi spoke for the first time in what seemed like forever, "No, I'm sorry, Hidan. But, how would Zetsu know?"

"It doesn't matter now!"

"Okay, okay."

Deidara sighed, "Ah, young love." He glanced at the wall near the staircase and saw Zetsu. He seemed to be smiling, but once Deidara looked at him, he slid away into the wall too fast for him to be sure he was there in the first place.

Zetsu spoke to himself inside the walls, "**Maybe you're not that much of a wimpy dumbass after all, white.**"

* * *

Pain: "Hello, and welcome to Pain's Corner. Last time, this was Babs Lucky Corner, but as you can see, I had to be hospitalized for serious concussions after the last incident with a metal bat and an angry teenage girl. So Babs is currently battling with my many lawyers in court for attempted murder. Now, on topic, Zetsu is our guest today."

Zetsu: "Hello, everyone…"

Pain: "So Zetsu, it seems like you're becoming more of a main character in the storyline. How-"

Babs: (jumps in with metal bat in hand) "Hi there, fellas!" (slams bat into Pain's already bandaged head, and jumps out.)

Pain: (falls to floor, rolling around and screaming in pain (no pun intended))

Zetsu: Um…B-Bye-nii…


End file.
